Love and Sorrow, The Thin Line Between
by llamaglamasama
Summary: Ryoma goes to the US after winning the nationals. While he’s gone, he feels a certain lack of thrill and finds himself thinking of someone more than he should. Finally, he returns, but why is he so different? Rated for violence in later chapters.
1. Hollow Space

"I'm going to America."

The single sentence seemed to bounce around the room, echoing through each of their ears, freezing them in their tracks. They all turned to look at the source of the noise. "What?" Someone managed to whisper.

"I'm going to America. I'm leaving Seigaku." It was said so calmly, as if it was merely an announcement of simplicity, that he was going to the restroom or something, but the statement carried a certain weight to it. He meant it. This was no joke; he was really leaving. But…why?

The lack of understanding must have been conveyed in their eyes, because he responded, still speaking in that indifferent tone. "I'm bored." The boy shrugged, "Nationals was fun, but now that it's over…there's nothing left to do."

The answer startled them, hurt them, but finally, one of them recovered. "I see." The team's captain and leader said slowly. "Will you be competing in the US Open?"

The boy in question merely shrugged. "I might. I don't know yet." With that, he shut his locker, pulling his cap down over his face, and left the club room.

After a while, the others began to return to reality, to recover from the shock, and Kikumaru Eiji burst into tears. "Nya, how can he leave us? He says he's bored, does he really hate us so much that he doesn't care?" Kikumaru clung to his friend's neck, sobbing into Oishi's chest.

"How could he!" Momo exclaimed, slamming his locker shut in irritation. Kaidou let out a hiss in agreement.

"…" Inui was silent, choosing not to reveal how likely his data said this was.

Fuji walked over to Tezuka and placed a hand on his shoulder. "He'll do well in the US, at least." He said with his usual grin, though there were some clear signs of sorrow underneath them. Taka nodded with him, not even bothering to hide the stream of tears that ran down his cheeks.

--

When Kikumaru Eiji arrived at practice the next morning, he looked dead on his feet. The normally hyper sempai made no effort to do anything and blinked tiredly at anyone who inquired his state. Oishi followed his friend, full of worry, but Eiji kept insisting that he was only tired from lack of sleep. Oishi didn't need the words to know he'd stayed up crying over their precious kohai.

Eiji wasn't the only one that was bent out of shape over the whole deal. Every regular member showed signs of wear, even the Tensai, whose mask cracked, even just a little, and the stoic captain, whose lips had taken a serious downturn. It was obvious that the boy's decision had hit them hard, but no one voiced their discomfort as they waited for the prodigy to arrive. Their wishes were never granted as Ryuzaki-sensei walked up to them, her face a mask of sorrow, and informed them of the news.

"Echizen's gone." She barely whispered it, but the court was so quiet, they could hear every word. "He left for America this morning, without even saying goodbye."

After that, there was silence for a long while, no one even making the slightest move to practice, until Momoshiro slammed his fist into the wall, grounding his teeth together and ignoring the tears flowing down his face. 'How could he?' Momo screamed to himself, 'Why didn't he tell us? Weren't we his friends? Does he even care?' Each thought coursed through him, jolting him with a cold stab to the heart. The boy was supposed to be his friend, his best friend…so why? Why had he left?

Practice was ended early for the day, and everyone moved through their routines in a robotic-like motion. Even one's who never expressed their emotions had a noticeable lack in feeling. It was like a void had been left behind, chilling them all to the bone. It attacked them and hurt them and sucked them into its vortex, haunting them with concern and worry, and that ever present doubt. Had the boy ever really liked them if he was able to leave that easily?

--

In the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport, Ryoma let out a sigh as he breathed the open air again. Ugh, being cooped up in an enclosed space like that was trying and ever so wearisome. Now, all he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and forget what he had done. Sleep and be free of the guilt that haunted him, the thoughts that followed him all the way from Japan. Yep, he really needed to sleep.

--

**Don't get too mad with Ryoma yet. There may be more behind his departure than just boredom.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Confusion

Sharp golden eyes blinked open to see a blinding expanse of white. Where was he? What happened? All he remembered was a brief flash of pain and then…nothing. After that, everything was a blank. He heard a click to his left and turned his head, ignoring the eye-watering pain the motion caused.

"Oh, you're awake." The voice sounded surprised, but his vision was too fuzzy to see who the speaker was. "You scared us, ya know. You've been out of it for a long time, nearly four days. Anyway, I'm glad you're up. As soon as the doctors say you're fit to go, we're leaving."

He opened his mouth to say something, but no noise came out. He swallowed and tried again, but all that managed to do was let him feel how raw and painful his throat was. Luckily, the other person didn't seem to need words to know his question.

"We'll be going to Japan, all of us."

--

"Fujiko!" An energetic voice called, followed by a flying red blur that attached itself to the smiling brunette. "Nya, Bouchou said the ranking matches would be starting in a couple of days, right? I hope we get some good new players."

Kikumaru Eiji, third year high school student, rambled on happily moving from one topic to the next. The teen beside him made no response, but he didn't seem to care as he continued talking about this and that. When they got closer to the brick walls that marked their destination, they were joined by two more figures, one tall with a stern look of his face, and the other, slightly shorter, but with a kind, inviting look to him. The shorter one joined in the chatter immediately whilst the other two walked silently side by side.

The four of them headed to the tennis courts and the tallest began barking orders immediately.

"Kunimitsu," Fuji began and the tallest turned to him. "Good morning." He reached up and left a kiss on the captain's cheek. Tezuka spared him a soft glance before continuing with his orders.

"Bouchou," A second year wearing the regular's uniform approached them, his shoulder length black hair held back by a headband. Another regular trailed behind him, this one with a buzz cut, carrying both their rackets. "There's some guy hanging around the club room inquiring about acceptance."

"Oh?" Fuji butted in, "Did he leave a name, Arai-kun?"

The one who spoke shook his head. "He was dragging around this other guy with him, though, who looked –" Arai quickly cut himself off. "Um, he looked…familiar." He gulped.

"Ah. Well, Kunimitsu, are you going to check it out?" Fuji's smile clearly said that he was tagging along. Tezuka nodded and the two followed Arai to the clubroom. When they got closer, they could see two figures bickering with each other, one wearing a white hat. Immediately, Fuji and Tezuka stiffened. Could it really be?

Tezuka cleared his throat. "I'm Tezuka Kunimitsu, Team Captain. Can I help you?" The taller figure turned to them with a grin while the other tugged his hat low, his posture also stiffening.

"Yo." The other one said cheerfully. "I was wondering if the tennis team was still accepting members. If so, my brother and I would like to join." The shorter boy mumbled something under his breath and the taller jabbed him with his elbow.

"Yes, the team is still accepting and you might have a chance of joining the regulars as well. The ranking matches are in two days." Tezuka said.

"Regulars?"

"The top club members who then form the team that competes in competitions," Fuji inserted helpfully, noticing that the shorter one flinched slightly as he spoke.

"Ah. Well, what do we have to do to join?"

"Talk to the coach and show up at practice." Fuji's smile looked a little strained, but his voice was steady.

"Thanks! Oh, and by the way, 'name's Echizen Ryoga!" With that, he ran off, dragging his brother along. Fuji's smile vanished.

"Looks like it really was him…" Tezuka sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "We should tell the others."

Fuji nodded stiffly. "I'll get them." Tezuka stared after the brunette as he left, worried about the change in attitude. Sure, they were all sore towards the boy who had left them, but…Fuji's manner was showing more than awkwardness.

The clubroom, which was usually used for match briefings and the like, was being used, also for a meeting, but the topic of discussion had nothing to do with business.

"Is it true?" "Could it be?" "I heard Echizen was back." "Seriously? That can't be true." The questions were voiced by everyone as they shifted around, trying to gather their things and get out of the crowded room.

The metal door slammed open and a pretty brunette sent an open-eyed glare at everyone. "Regulars, Bouchou is calling us." Seven people squeezed their way out of the mob and followed the tensai.

"What's up, bouchou?" A boy with short, spiky, black hair asked when they'd all situated themselves into a circle. "What's with all the weird rumors?" The others looked expectantly up at Tezuka, casting furtive glances towards the non-smiling sadist. If Fuji was unhappy and _showing_ it, it couldn't be good.

"Today, we were approached by a new member – two, actually – one of whom was wearing a white Fila cap. The other introduced himself as Echizen Ryoga." The response was instantaneous. Every single person in the room stiffened and their expressions turned hard.

"A-ano…are they going to be accepted into the club?" Arai asked.

"We have no grounds to refuse their acceptance, so, as of tomorrow, they will be new members." Tezuka said firmly. The rest of the club politely ignored their captain's twitching brow. It appeared he was just as uncomfortable with this as they were.

--

Echizen Ryoma tugged his hat farther down, hiding his eyes completely from view. Damn Ryoga, why'd he have to go and bring him here? This was the last place he wanted to be.

He sighed and slung his tennis bag over his shoulder. They'd been told to start practice immediately, and that meant morning practice. So much for his hopes of sleeping in. He cursed Ryoga again. It wasn't just him that was uncomfortable with this. He knew that the others, his old teammates, must feel just as awkward, and they hadn't even met face to face yet. Though, unfortunately, that couldn't be said for the one he'd been dreading to meet most. And he'd been with _him_, dammit. Even just thinking back on it, his chest clenched painfully. And now he'd be seeing them _every single day_. Joy.

He glanced around, re-familiarizing himself with the house. It was the same one he'd lived in when he'd been in Japan previously and very little had changed, though it was in desperate need of a new paint job.

Everyone was living back in their old rooms, with the exception of his cousin, Nanako, who was living in a college dorm. Her room had gone to Ryoga. It was unfortunate Nanako wasn't the type to paint her room bright pink or something. Ryoma would've loved to see his face if that happened.

"Yo, Aniki, we're gonna be late if you don't hurry your ass up." He shouted. He got a vague reply before said boy burst through the door and ushered him out of the house.

"Well, this'll be fun, won't it? It's been ages since either of us have played for a team; it'll be a nice change." Ryoga was all smiles as he chattered on and on.

"Ryoga?" The tennis prodigy turned to him, a sweet smile on his face.

"Yes?"

"Shut up." He growled. Ryoga looked vaguely hurt, but brushed it off as they got closer to the school. "Oh, and Ryoga?" Ryoma paused outside the gates, leveling his brother with the most threatening glare he'd ever come across, "I hate you. With a passion."

Ryoga laughed nervously and quickly headed towards the locker room. The minute they opened the door, a silence feel over the assembled players. Ryoma didn't really mind it and just proceeded to change into a red t-shirt and shorts. Ryoga, on the other hand, looked more than a little uncomfortable, his previous smile slipping from his face. Okay, he knew Ryoma had left abruptly before, but wasn't this a bit much? At the moment, he was cursing himself for ever deciding to come here with the snarky brat in tow. How the hell could he act so indifferent, anyway? Oh, right, he was used to this…which led them back to why they were currently in Japan. Ryoga let out a slow breath and attempted to stop his mind from running in circles. Any time now, that little thing called sanity would float back in…hopefully it wouldn't be too late.

Ryoma calmly ignored everyone as he finished pulling on his practice clothes and headed out of the clubroom, racket in hand. He acted nonchalant, even when he passed Tezuka on the way to the courts. On the inside, though, he was going through a mental breakdown. Everyone kept _staring_ at him and it was beginning to get on his nerves. Why couldn't he just be like any other freshman, anyway?

Club activities began and Tezuka gathered everyone. "These two will be our newest club members. Help them adjust and fit in." Even as he said so, not once did his shoulders relax. No one else was any better, either. A great many people had tensed up as soon as they spotted the white Fila cap and they certainly spent their sweet time adverting their eyes.

"Uh, hi, I'm Echizen Ryoga. Nice to meet you?" He said uncertainly, a bead of sweat traveling down his neck at the intense stares directed at his brother. Mr. Popular once more, it seemed, though not necessarily in a good way.

"Echizen Ryoma," Said person ground out, barely audible. It was enough though, when he pulled down his hat in the signature move. Immediately, whispers started to break out.

"Get to work." Tezuka snapped. Already he could feel the migraine coming on. And it didn't help that Fuji had been oddly silent and somber ever since Echizen's arrival, his ever-present smile was conspicuously missing.

Practice passed on, uneventful, though many found it surprising that Ryoma willingly did the warm-ups with the rest of the first years, collecting balls and the like. Not once did he ask for a match or to be anything more than a simple freshman and that, quite frankly, scared most of them more than it should. What had happened to the cocky rookie they once knew? Not that any of them were actually expressing their concern, but the thoughts were present, nonetheless.

Throughout practice, Ryoma was inadvertently avoided, mainly out of awkwardness, because no one knew how to approach him. Ryoga, unfortunately, was also avoided, for which he was not very happy, but he supposed he could live. Finally, practice ended and everyone headed to their classes, determined not to be late.

As he was headed out, Ryoma was stopped by a short boy with a common haircut. The moment he opened his mouth, Ryoma knew he knew him, especially as that obnoxious voice floated out and inquired where the heck he had been. Ryoma sweatdropped. Apparently three years hadn't changed the boy any. Hopefully the same couldn't be said for his tennis, though Ryoma doubted it.

"I believe I said I was going to America. That's where I went." His voice was soft but firm as he spoke, making it clear that this conversation was over. With that, he stalked past the loudmouthed boy and continued to class.

The day passed on normally, and he felt lucky that he had no classes with any of the regulars. Ryoga was less lucky, his class containing both the hyperactive redhead and the sadistic tensai. Oh yeah, life was going _just_ great. He spent most of the day mentally reciting every curse word in every language he knew.

--

Afternoon practice found the club members gathered in front of the captain, vice-captain, and coach. They were informed of the ranking tournament that would take place in a few days time and advised to practice thoroughly for the event. For that purpose, the coach proposed a new idea.

"I want everyone to participate in a practice match, including the freshman. It doesn't matter who you play, but you are expected to play at full force. Those who don't will be running laps until the end of practice, clear?" The man barked. The high school coach was a tall man with darkish skin and short black hair held in place by a black visor. His name, as they'd picked apart from different conversations as they'd never really been told, was Nakamura Seiichi and he was treated with respect, though it didn't escape their notice how everyone turned to Tezuka for reassurance rather than listen to the coach directly.

The members drifted off and paired up as ordered. In a corner, Ryoma could hear that loudmouthed kid bragging about five or so years of tennis experience as Kachiro and Katsuko walked onto one of the courts. Ryoma followed his brother, absentmindedly and found himself facing off with the net between them.

"It's been a while since we've played a serious match, hasn't it, Chibisuke?" Ryoga smirked at him.

"Shut up, bastard." Ryoma hissed in English. Why was he always getting nicknames that reflected on how _small_ he was?

"Language, Chibisuke. What would your mother do if she heard you speak like that?"

"Presumably the same thing she'd do to you, moron. We have the same mother, in case you've forgotten." As he spoke, the freshman noticed that their banter had become a source of entertainment for many of the tennis players. They'd stopped their own activities to see what would happen.

"Oh, that's right, isn't it? Hmm, well, no matter. Ready to lose?" He taunted.

"I'll make you cry." Ryoma glared. For the others, it was almost comforting to hear him talk in the same cocky tone they were used to before. "Which?"

"Smooth." Ryoga was rewarded the serve and he started off with a simple everyday serve that made Ryoma growl in irritation as he returned it.

"Didn't you hear the orders to _play seriously_?" He barked, his bad mood becoming apparent.

"Whatever. What's got your boxers in a bunch, anyway?" Ryoga grinned as his brother choked.

"What the hell!? Nothing, and quit using freakish terms."

"Or what?" Their rally continued simply for a while, neither making any sort of effort and hardly even panting.

"Need examples? I'd think last time would be enough." He smirked, reminding the older boy of an incident involving duct tape, cheesecake, and lots of silly string. Ryoga flinched visibly and retaliated with a cross shot. Ryoma caught it and lobbed it high, inviting the inevitable smash that he knew would follow. Ryoga hit it, displaying a huge amount of power, and Ryoma hit the ball after it bounced, sending it back with the Super Rising he'd learned years ago. Some of the club members that were unfamiliar with Ryoma gasped in surprise that a freshman could pull off such a move, but their shock was short lived when Ryoga actually connected racket and ball, sending it back across the net. Unfortunately, it was out, but the fact that he caught it made many people gape at him.

"You'll have to do better than that, Chibisuke." Echizen taunted.

"This coming from the one who hit it out."

"Shut up."

Ryoga served a speed ball and scored a service ace. The next time he tried, though, Ryoma caught it and sent it speeding back, adding more power to it. Ryoga flinched slightly at the heavy ball, but lobbed it back. Ryoma jumped and smashed it to the far corner. His brother ran for it and almost got it. The small, green ball collided with the edge of his racket and flew across the court, only to connect with the net.

"30-15" The younger boy called. They continued for some time, the score remaining pretty much even, but the moves becoming more and more advanced. Each player was subtly breaking out new, complex moves as the match went on. By now, all the regulars had their eyes trained on the game and the old freshman trio watched in awe.

The match had been going on a full thirty minutes and the coach began dismissing the players that weren't watching. He didn't stop the game, though, even as the courts became deserted, too engulfed in the fabulous play presented before him.

Both Echizen's eyes were alight with thrill. The game took everything they had and they loved it. It had been so long since they played a serious match and they found themselves missing it. After all, it wasn't often that they found anyone worthy of a challenge on the courts aside from their Baka Oyaji, and they were enjoying this rare moment when they could forget the pretenses and just _play_.

Finally, Ryoma ended the match with his Cyclone Smash and won, 7-6. The tiebreak had actually gone on long enough to reach the thirties, but Ryoga made the mistake of lobbing the heavy ball he'd received. When it was over, the audience began clapping, starting them back into awareness of their current whereabouts. Ryoma blinked in surprise before tugging his cap down over his eyes quickly. Ryoga chuckled lightly and grabbed the hat, pulling it off and ruffling the boy's hair, much to his chagrin.

Nakamura-sensei walked over to the boys, a happy look gracing his features. "Echizen-kun, that was fantastic. You both played an amazing match." They bowed, embarrassed, but pleased. "Practice is long over, so go ahead and change." He dismissed them. "Tezuka," He called the captain. "I haven't seen such talent in quite a while. Now, I know that we usually don't allow first years to participate, but I really think the boy should be given a chance. He certainly showed more promise than those other freshman."

Tezuka's lips had formed a thin line, but the coach had yet to notice. He wasn't the only one, either. The regulars looked at each other in discomfort and a look of pure horror had washed over Arai's face. There was no way in hell he'd give up his regulars spot to a brat who'd abandoned them!

"Well, in any case, Tezuka-kun, please consider adding him to the ranking matches. It would be a waste if his talent got away from us." Tezuka gave a bitter smile and nodded politely. "Ah, it seems I've held you up long enough. You should all go change." The nine regulars and the freshman trio marched off the courts, varying emotions carried on each face.

(The nine regulars includes the manager, who doesn't get to play in matches, but I'm going to count him as part of the regulars anyway.)

--

Tezuka changed in silence and met Fuji at the locker room door. They strolled away from the campus, a comfortable silence held between them as their hands clasped and fingers entwined. After a while, though, when they approached the juncture they had to part at, Tezuka spoke up.

"Syuusuke?" He began, concern leaking into his voice. "Are you okay? You seem…spacey."

"Mmm?" Fuji looked off into the distance, his eyes not meeting Tezuka's. "I'm fine, really, Kunimitsu." He reached up and planted a kiss on soft lips. "I'd better head home. Neechan wanted me to help her with something. See you tomorrow." He smiled softly and Tezuka nodded, turning in the direction of his own home. As soon as his back was to him, Fuji's smile vanished. The stuff about helping Yumiko at home was a load of bull and he was willing to bet that Tezuka knew. Still, he was glad his boyfriend didn't push the matter. This was hard enough without having to talk about it.

Sighing, Fuji walked off, absentmindedly making his way to a park he often favored for pictures. The scenery was beautiful and natural and he couldn't help snapping photos of it whenever he had his camera on him. Now, however, the tranquil surroundings did little to appease him. Why did the kid have to return now? Couldn't he have stayed away? Or maybe…couldn't he have never left?

Fuji's lazy feet brought him to the base of a large oak and he settled down on the grass to just _think_. It was rather hard, he found, to focus, but he did manage to sort out a few thoughts. At least, that is, until he heard a shout from the other side of the tree. He peeked over and was surprised to see the subject of his thoughts standing right in front of him. Well, not _right_ in front of him; Syuusuke was still partially behind the tree and there were a few things obscuring his vision…like the flying body that was headed toward him. With a yelp, he pulled his head back to avoid a collision. When the body landed in the grass, hard, he took a moment to look at it. It was a young boy, probably around his age, dressed in all sorts of bizarre clothes. He looked like the stereotypical punk, as did his companion that went flying after him. Syuusuke quirked an eyebrow and glanced back at the fight scene.

Echizen, innocent little Echizen, was not as innocent as he appeared. At the moment, he was busy beating the crap out of another punk, ignoring the ones already scattered in the ground, groaning.

"Now, what was it you said?" Fuji couldn't see Echizen's face, but he was pretty sure the words were coming from him. Weird, the voice sounded strange, filled with malice, not at all like the voice he remember the young freshman to have.

"Y-you…brat!" The kid forced out, gasping for breath. Ryoma's fist shot out and collided with the man's jaw. A loud crack was heard and the boy slumped in Ryoma's grasp. Echizen dropped him, carelessly, and turned toward the tree, spotting Syuusuke. Fuji's eyes snapped open in surprise, particularly when the boy sent a fist flying towards him. Fuji backed away, confusion evident on his face.

"Now, now, Echizen, that's no way to treat a sempai." He consoled, dodging another punch.

"What do you want?" Ryoma hissed, his voice deadly. Syuusuke blinked in surprise and missed the fist headed towards him. The punch rammed into his left cheek with enough power to send Fuji flying backwards. He landed on his butt and stared at his kohai, wide-eyed. What the hell was going on? Echizen Ryoma had rarely been the type for unnecessary violence, so why was he suddenly attacking Fuji?

A shout caused them both to turn, and Ryoma moved away from his sempai to attack the newcomer. Said person ducked and aimed a kick to Ryoma's gut. It connected and the boy fell back, smashing into the tree. With a groan, Echizen Ryoma slipped into unconsciousness. Fuji stared up at his savior and blinked. "Echizen…Ryoga, wasn't it?" Fuji wondered what the hell was going on. First, he finds his cute little kohai in a fight, then said kohai attacks him, then said kohai's brother attacks said kohai…okay, he needed an aspirin. _Badly_.

Ryoga cleared his throat nervously. "Ehm, Fuji-san, could you possibly…ignore this? Okay, probably not, but see…it's kinda hard to explain. Chibisuke's not really himself, ya know? So…" He trailed off nervously as Syuusuke picked himself up from the ground and brushed off his clothes.

"Fine," Fuji said, leveling the older Echizen with a blue-eyed stare, "but I expect an explanation. A good one."

"Uh, y-yeah. But…not now…Chibisuke's…I gotta get Chibisuke home." Ryoga stuttered, cursing himself. When had he turned into such a coward, anyway?

"Fine. We'll have a little…_chat_ tomorrow." A sadistic smile appeared on his face before he took one last look at the unconscious boy. A brief look of sadness passed through his eyes before they were shut from the world. He walked out of the park, one hand coming to rest over his throbbing cheek. Who knew the kid pack such a punch? Hell, if he weren't getting hit by it, he might compliment the boy's right hook.

--

"Nya, Fujiko, what happened!?" Eiji called out in distress when he saw his longtime friend nursing a bandage on his left cheek.

"Oh, it's nothing. How was your evening?" Fuji smiled, quickly changing the subject. Eiji launched into a description of some movie his family had watched, but Fuji tuned him out. His _chat_ with Echizen Ryoga was going to prove very interesting, he thought. _Very_ interesting.

All through morning practice, he was constantly getting asked about his injury. Although he waved the questions off, he noticed Tezuka giving him suspicious looks and graced with an innocent smile. Tezuka didn't look convinced in the least, but he adverted his gaze anyway. A low voice caught Fuji's attention and he turned his head to see Echizen Ryoma talking to the loud freshman kid.

"Ne, what happened to Fuji-sempai's face?" He asked. His face was drawn into a frown as he stared curiously at his sempai. Fuji's eyes opened slightly.

"Oh, he said he fell or something. Anyway, I, Horio-sama, with five years of tennis experience would never _fall_." At that moment, Ryoma looked very tempted to trip the boy, but resisted the urge in favor of staring at Fuji. Fuji turned his head so that he didn't seem to be staring, but continued to watch out of the corner of his eye. The boy's expression didn't change at all. He seemed honestly curious as to what had befallen his sempai and Fuji just couldn't understand it. With that in mind, he flitted over to the other Echizen and graced him with his sweetest smile. Ryoga gulped and smiled nervously himself. He followed Fuji away a bit, ready for a thorough grilling.

"Now, _Echizen-kun_, perhaps you can explain why I was attacked by your brother who now doesn't seem to know anything that happened?" Fuji's eyes were open and staring directly into his.

"Um…well, he _doesn't_, not exactly. See…"

--

Ryoma noticed that Ryoga was missing during practice and also spotted that Fuji-sempai wasn't among the practicing players. His brow furrowed in thought as he began the freshman training regimen, consisting mainly of 50 swings and 20 laps. Such things he could do without any thought at all, so he willingly let his mind wander. Fuji-sempai _fell_ and injured his _cheek_? Was he the only one that thought things seemed a bit…off?

Spacing out, he didn't realize he was being called until Horio shoved him to get his attention. As Ryoma fell, just barely catching himself, a short chain fell from his shirt, attached around his neck. It sported a small, hexagonal sapphire encased in a silver metal. Odd, they didn't remember Ryoma to wear jewelry before…

Ryoma straightened, pulling himself up from the ground and leveling Horio with a death glare. "What?" He growled.

Horio whimpered. "Um, Bouchou asked to see you." He whispered, face going pale.

"Where is he?" Horio pointed to the clubroom and Ryoma walked off, a dark aura around him signaling that he was _not pleased_. He knocked on the door to the room before walking in to see Tezuka and Oishi. "You called for me, Bouchou?" He asked, his voice quiet.

Both turned and Oishi gave him a small, uncertain smile. "Um, Nakamura-sensei recommended you for the regulars and, well…"

"You'll be participating in the ranking tournament tomorrow." Tezuka finished, his voice emotionless as always.

"Hai," Ryoma bowed his head slightly, tugging his hat down.

"Good luck." Oishi dismissed him, awkwardly. Ryoma nodded and left the room silently. Oishi frowned. "He's changed…he's changed a lot." He murmured. Tezuka nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps he's just…growing up." Tezuka said softly. Oishi smiled.

"I hope that's it."

--

**Sorry if Tezuka's out of character. Or any of them, really, but Tezu was the hardest to write for this chappie. I absolutely hate the perfect pair, which makes me wonder why I'm including it, but the plot asked for it, so…I just hope it's not too OOC or anything.**

**Don't forget to review. Criticism is always welcome, so please, feel free… **


	3. Love and Sorrow

**Sorry if it seems OOC. I hope it isn't too bad.**

**Note: 'Ai' has two different Kanji, one which reads as sorrow, and the other which reads as love.**

Ryoma yawned widely and stretched. Because of the ranking matches that would take place this afternoon, morning practice had been canceled. Finally, a chance to sleep in, and what happens? He can't sleep. How bloody unfair.

Every time he closed his eyes, a smiling brunette face would float into his mind. That wasn't really so bad…he liked looking at the pretty face, but…for some reason, his whole body would contract painfully. There was something he could see…something reddish…it was only a flash of color in his mind, but it never seemed to go away. It was…disturbing…

Then…the image of Fuji morphed…now he could see him standing next to a figure with dark brown hair and glasses. They were walking together, holding hands. His chest constricted tightly and he scrunched his face in pain. The images kept morphing; the figures were walking, hugging, kissing…Ryoma's eyes flew open and he whimpered. His body hurt…everywhere. It wouldn't stop, wouldn't diminish and the red that was invading his mind started to grow. It _hurt_ and it wouldn't stop. Ryoma's whimpering grew louder as the pain became more intense. His eyes squinted open and he could see something bending over him…it was too dark to see their features clearly, but golden, cat-like eyes peered through the shadows, glowing almost. It reached out and Ryoma tried to worm away, but he couldn't move. The thing grabbed him, around the throat, tightly, and he could vaguely hear a strangled scream, a cry for help, before the blackness consumed him completely. The last thing he heard was a loud yell of "RYOMA!!"

--

Fuji Syuusuke couldn't hold back the sigh that threatened to break through. He was walking towards the school, same time as always, but he didn't _feel_ the same as always. He felt…guilty…and confused. Thinking back on his conversation with the older Echizen…was it really possible?

"_Now, _Echizen-kun_, perhaps you can explain why I was attacked by your brother who now doesn't seem to know anything that happened?" Fuji's eyes were open and staring directly into his._

"_Um…well, he doesn't, not exactly. See…"Ryoga swallowed nervously. "It happened about…a couple of months before we returned to Japan. He was acting moodier than normal, short with everyone. It didn't take much for him to snap, which was odd in itself. Chibisuke had always had a lot of self control, so for him to breakdown…it was practically unheard of. But…it happened…_

"_It was at a festival thing downtown, when it first happened. We had to practically drag him along hollering and screaming, but once we got there, he calmed down a bit. I think he was actually starting to enjoy himself when we came across this booth that held 'cursed artifacts'. That sort of scam isn't uncommon, but Chibisuke was interested in it, so we took a look. They were just pieces of pottery and jewelry and stuff, but I guess this one must've caught his eye, cuz next thing I knew, he was lying on the ground, having some sort of panic attack._

"_Well, as expected, everyone freaked and we called an ambulance and police and the whole circus. 'Kaa-san sorta overreacted, but her son _was_ having some sort of issue, so we can forgive her. Anyway, the booth vender followed us to the hospital. At the time, I thought it was cuz he was afraid he'd get sued or something, but then he started saying all this weird stuff like, 'The inner shadow shall now arise, awakened by the necklace's power.'_

"_Admittedly, I went nuts and attacked him, but he would just keep repeating the same thing, 'Beware of the inner darkness.' I was about ready to check him into the psycho ward when the doctors came out and told us Chibisuke was awake. They also reached out to hand us this necklace, but the vender guy, he yelled for us not to touch it, without some sort of protection. Now, he had _everyone_ staring at him, but since Chibisuke had collapsed after grabbing it, we figured it was wise to use a little caution._

"_The doctors couldn't tell us anything about what had happened. They said he'd gone into shock but that there was no explanation as to why. So, we went to see him, me still dragging that vendor freak. We walked into the room and he smiled at us. That in itself is pretty weird, but his smile looked…sadistic. It was enough to send 'Kaa-san into a fit, and Oyaji was trying to console her when Chibisuke reached up and _attacked_ the nurse that was lingering around him. Needless to say, we were shocked. I mean, Chibisuke was never really the violent sort, ya know, and he just…pounced. It was frightening and everything was chaotic, but someone managed to get in a sedate him._

"_When he woke up, he didn't remember anything. At first, we thought it was just the drugs acting up; he _was_ pumped up on sedatives, so we just brushed it aside. The vendor said, with this creepy, ominous voice, 'His shadow is now awakened. That which he has hidden inside of him for so long is now released. It is built off the negatives and will not stop until it is finished. Ai, those in the past have called it, for it is created from love, but always causes only sorrow. It's goal will be to destroy the one responsible for its creation.' Then that bastard just vanished, leaving us to stare._

"_We'd dismissed the whole thing when Chibisuke was discharged without any problems. But, a few weeks later, something happened again. The necklace he'd gotten from the vendor – well, really we never paid for it, but… – he had worn it at all times, but it had managed to come undone at school. According to his classmates, he suddenly changed completely and attacked anyone around him. Afterwards, though, he couldn't remember anything that had happened._

"_He was put in a psych ward for a while, and diagnosed with schizophrenia…a split personality." At that point, Fuji's eyebrows had risen slightly in amusement, but it was short lived. "The other personality, it was violent and somehow connected to the necklace. From what the doctors told us, Chibisuke had created some sort of subconscious mental connection between them so that the necklace was a sort of seal over his other personality. Basically, whenever the necklace comes off, he goes psycho. Except lately, it started happening even when the necklace was still on. That was when I remembered what the vendor had said. This other personality, Ai, was trying to 'destroy the one responsible for its creation.' We thought that might mean it was trying to kill Chibisuke, but Ai had never done anything to directly harm him. So…if it wasn't Chibisuke that was responsible for its creation, it must've been someone else that was connected to it. According to the vendor, Ai was created from Chibisuke's love. From what I understand, Ai is trying to kill whomever it is that Chibisuke is in love with…and he apparently took a few of the negative traits from said person."_

"_Negative traits?" Fuji asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach._

"_Ai is extremely sadistic and possessive. That means that Chibisuke's love is probably sadistic and possessive as well. So… any ideas who the lucky guy is?" Ryoga's smile was anything but pleasant._

The whole alter-ego deal aside, Fuji already knew that. And he still felt guilty over it. He'd known that Ryoma had a certain amount of affection for him, but…love to that degree? He'd figured it was just a passing crush, puppy love and all that. Never once did he imagine that he'd done so much to the boy…

Great, now he was feeling even more guilty. When Echizen had left, he'd had a sneaking suspicion that it might have something to do with his rejection. After all, it was only a few weeks previously that the boy had come and confessed to him. It was actually quite cute, the usually cocky body standing there, red faced and fidgeting uncertainly. Unfortunately, Fuji had had to turn him down. He loved Kunimitsu, he couldn't help that. He'd really thought that after that, maybe Ryoma'd be a little sore with him for a while, but surely he'd get over it…right? Apparently not, as the boy was now suffering all because of him. Well, didn't that make him feel just dandy?

He growled softly and ran a hand through his light brown locks. Why did life have to be so bloody complicated, anyway? He'd never felt so guilty and hopeless in his entire life, and the worst thing was that he actually felt a ripple of _pleasure_ when he heard that Ryoma still loved him. So…what now?

--

Tezuka Kunimitsu sighed and rubbed his temple. He needed to concentrate on club activities, but he just kept getting distracted. He couldn't help it, he was just like any other teenager with hormones controlling his life, ya know. He may act mature and responsible, but he wasn't perfect. And it didn't really help that his outlet for such hormonal responses was going through his own issues, rendering them both unavailable. Actually, that was what was weighing on his mind the most. Fuji had been so distant lately, he just couldn't understand it. Admittedly, he wasn't the best at understanding people, but he'd always thought Fuji was a lot like him. Sure, they had their differences, and really, Echizen was probably a lot more like him than Fuji, but he was sure they'd come to know each other pretty well in the last few years. So why was it now, when Echizen had suddenly returned, that Fuji started acting strange?

It was weird, the way Echizen Ryoma had wormed his way into their relationship, actually. They had started dating just before he left and, now that he'd returned, would that mean the end of it? Tezuka sighed and hoped that Fuji and he could pull through whatever was going on. Now, back to work…

He glanced down at the papers he was supposed to be looking over and sighed again. The ranking tournament…it would be held today, right after school and he wondered, what would come of it…

--

"Nya, what's going on? Shouldn't Ochibi be here by now?" Kikumaru Eiji sank onto the ground, pouting. Momoshiro nodded vaguely, ignoring the warning glance from Oishi. Echizen, while not exactly disliked, wasn't favored with the regulars anymore. They were all still quite hurt that he would just up and leave them like that, but he was still their friend…even if the feeling wasn't mutual. They couldn't help but worry for their young kohai and hope that everything was alright.

Oishi sighed. This was getting out of hand. What if something had happened to the Echizen brothers? What would happen if they were late enough that Tezuka disqualified them from the tournament? While they didn't know much about Ryoga, it was clear that Ryoma would make a great addition to the team, especially since the coach had allowed this chance. But…if they were disqualified, would they still get a chance and be favored over everyone else, or would the team lose a valuable talent…again.

Letting out another sigh, he turned to the infamous trio of first years. "Have any of you seen Echizen?" He turned to Eiji and the others. "What about you guys? Isn't the older Echizen in your class?"

"Yeah, with me and Fujiko, but he didn't show up today…nya, I wonder if he's sick?"

Horio said, in his loud, obnoxious voice, "The other Echizen didn't turn up, either. He could've just been ditching 'til practice, though…used to do that a lot in junior high."

"Hmm…" Oishi looked around, his brow creasing in worry.

Fuji stood nearby, a frown prominent on his face. Tezuka was talking with the coach inside and the matches wouldn't be starting until they were finished, but that was the farthest thought from his mind a the moment. 'Echizen…'

A sudden shout called the attention of most everyone around. A freshman girl with bouncing pigtails flying behind her raced into the courts, running in the vague direction of the regulars.

"Where's the coach?" Osakada Tomoka asked, panting harshly.

"Is something wrong?" Oishi asked kindly.

"Yeah, got–gotta tell him about Ryoma-sama…" She puffed, breathlessly.

"What about Echizen?" Fuji asked, standing abruptly.

"He–he needs to be excused from practice…his brother wanted someone to inform the coach…"

"Why?" This time Momo was the one to ask, and Kaidou hissed beside him, prompting the girl to get to the point.

"My precious Ryoma-sama is in the hospital." She wailed.

--

Benches, Oishi pondered absentmindedly, were not made for seven people, especially when those seven people were the Seigaku regulars. Normally, who they were shouldn't make a difference, but with them…he wondered how Tezuka managed to look so calm and unaffected, even with the screeching and hollering the others were doing. He wasn't the only one. Fuji had been strangely silent and solemn for a while now. Not that the tensai was usually loud, but the significant lack of a smile on that carefully trained face was alarming.

He breathed out in relief when the door opened and a doctor immerged. Everyone immediately fell silent and stilled, finally making the bench more comfortable. Unfortunately, the doctor didn't call for the companions of Echizen Ryoma…instead, he went to some lady, informing her of a recent birth. He couldn't hear any more, because, with the disappointment in their minds, the chaos issued once more.

Oishi Shuichiro was a patient man, but there were times when even his tolerance was worn thin. Now, he desperately hoped, would not be one of those times, because the last thing they needed was for another attribution to the noise.

And maybe soon the doctors would come and tell them of Echizen. Hopefully the delay wasn't because of anything bad.

--

When the doctors finally did call, the news wasn't what they wanted to hear. Echizen was awake, but he didn't want to see anyone. They respected his wish, but that didn't mean they had to accept it. Momo and Kikumaru were whining, _loudly_, but the good thing was that, even though Echizen had denied them, he had also denied everyone else, thus the simple-minded players such as Momo and Eiji couldn't be convinced that their Ochibi hated them. Oishi let out a long sigh and ushered everyone out of the waiting room. When they were outside, he noticed two of his teammates lingering and decided to give them some privacy. Eiji whined that they had waited so long only to leave without seeing Ochibi at all. Oishi quietly reminded him that, even if he didn't want to see them, wasn't it more important that he was okay? That seemed to subdue the hyperactive redhead and even calmed the dunk smash player as well.

Behind the group, Fuji stood just outside the hospital, staring absentmindedly out over the parking lot. After having his little chat with Ryoga, he found it hard to convince himself that this accident was mere coincident. But if it wasn't, did that mean he was responsible for Echizen's hospitalization? A fresh wave of guilt cascaded over him and he let out a soft sigh.

"Syuusuke," A deep voice called. He turned to look at Tezuka, a small smile making its way onto his face.

"Something wrong, Kunimitsu?" He asked pleasantly. Tezuka's stare hardened.

"Syuusuke…what's wrong? Ever since Echizen's reappearance, you've been…out of sorts…Is there a problem?" He asked. It wasn't exactly the frantic worrying that he was feeling inside, but he supposed it was as close as he could get.

"Hmm? Oh, no, Kunimitsu…everything's fine. I guess I've just been a little distracted." _No, it certainly doesn't have anything to do with a golden eyed boy with a split personality who is now in the hospital, possibly because of me._ Fuji sighed again, but this time the smile stayed on his face, even if it was a little bitter. Tezuka could just pretend he didn't see that part…

Tezuka sighed, but didn't push the matter, although he certainly wasn't satisfied with his boyfriend's answer. And he wondered vaguely, when did their relationship come to the point that he felt the need to question Syuusuke's actions? Before, they'd never had any problems…they were very trusting of each other, whether it be on the courts, in bed, or just part of their everyday life. But now…what had changed? Echizen Ryoma, he had returned, but why was it that that should change things so much? He was just a promising talent, right? He certainly had nothing to do with their relationship…right?

Tezuka looked up at the blue sky and hoped the answers wouldn't be unfavorable for him.

--

Fuji watched as Tezuka continued home. He needed to do something. If Kunimitsu could see through his mask that easily, then it wouldn't be long before others could as well. Before that happened, he needed to find a way to solve this…well, whatever the problem was, anyway.

Closing his eyes and displaying his pleasant mask once more, he turned and headed back into the hospital. Smiling, he sauntered up to the desk and requested Echizen Ryoma's room number.

"Oh, um, he's in 204…but he's not seeing anyone, I don't think…" The woman behind the desk blushed and lowered her head.

"Thank you." Fuji nodded and walked off, not giving the poor girl a moment's attention. He had more important things to do than humor a hopeless girl.

His ride in the elevator was silent and he ran into no problems on his way. When he got to the room, he saw a woman with long dark hair being led away by what was presumably her husband. Syuusuke quickly ducked behind a door and waited until they'd left before knocking softly on the door to room 204.

"What?" A soft voice billowed through the door, sounding almost meek and vulnerable. But no, that couldn't be right. Meek and vulnerable were two terms never associated with Echizen Ryoma.

He opened the door slowly, peeking in the room. The greenish haired boy lay on sheets of snow white, his pale complexion accented by the darkness of his hair and the contrast of the white room. His golden eyes flickered to Fuji and a small whimper escaped his lips.

Concerned, Fuji rushed to his bedside, asking what was wrong, what hurt, and the next thing he knew, he was laying flat on his back with the smaller boy straddling his waist, hands gripped tightly around his wrists. His eyes fly open to stare at the freshman, who is suddenly much closer, before fluttering closed when a warm pressure fell on his lips. The kiss was soft and loving as Ryoma's plump lips moved against his. It felt good and caring and it was something he'd never before experienced with Kunimitsu. Kunimitsu!

His eyes shot open and he let out a strangled gasp. Ryoma took advantage of the opening and slipped his tongue into the other's mouth, exploring the molten cavern, inspecting his teeth, gums, and tongue. Fuji couldn't help the moan that built in the back of his throat when Ryoma's warm tongue slid across his own, caressing it gently. He could feel the distinctive uplifting of the lips upon his as they stretched into his trademark smirk.

Suddenly, the pressure left his lips and began traveling down his jaw. The grip on his wrists loosened slightly as Ryoma transferred both wrists to one hand, but tightened once more. The now free hand moved down and caressed his chest, slipping beneath the fabric and running along bare skin. A deep moan erupted in Syuusuke's throat. No, this was wrong, he wasn't supposed to like this. He couldn't be liking this…could he? No, no, he loved Kunimitsu, he would enjoy it with Kunimitsu, not with– His thoughts were cut off when the hand teasing his nipples slip down to grasp between his legs. Oh crap, this was not supposed to feel good. Shit, this wasn't good, this needed to stop, he needed to–

The door opened slowly to reveal Tezuka. When he saw what was going on, his eyes widened dramatically and he darted forward, pulling Ryoma off of Syuusuke. He found himself hitting Echizen, not hard, but apparently hard enough as the boy wonder slumped in his arms. He looked over to his boyfriend and frowned.

Fuji was freaking out. He was just molested, he found enjoyed it, his boyfriend walked in on it, his attacker was knocked out…wait, if he was already hospitalized, that can't be good, right?

"Syuusuke…" Tezuka began. Syuusuke looked up, his eyes opening in alarm. "Echizen…"

"Wait, Kuni…Echizen's not himself. His brother told me…he's got a split personality." Fuji happily skipped over the reasons of why Ryoga told him specifically.

Tezuka's eyes widened in surprise. "Split personality? How– "

Syuusuke decided it wasn't his place to say. "I don't know exactly, but his other personality is supposed to be rather violent, so…" Tezuka nodded in understanding. He helped Syuusuke straighten Ryoma on the bed and they left, an awkward silence settling between them.

For Tezuka, his thoughts were clouded with worry over his boyfriend's traumatic experience, jealousy that he wasn't the one doing it, and anger at Ryoma for whatever the heck was going on that he still had no explanation for.

For Fuji, on the other hand, he was frustrated, hurt, and confused. He felt somewhat betrayed that Ryoma would attack him, even though he knew it was Ai, but he also felt guilty because he betrayed Kunimitsu by enjoying it. The pleasure that had coursed through his body was no lie and it wasn't the sort of thing that Tezuka had ever caused in him either. Did that mean he was being unfaithful to Tezuka? But he wasn't doing it on purpose. He loved Tezuka, really he did, but… He groaned softly in defeat. If he really loved Kunimitsu like he used to then there would be no 'but'. So, did that mean he liked Ryoma now? Surely he wasn't that fickle…was he?

--

Golden eyes blinked open slowly and looked around. Jeez, he was in the hospital…_again_. He turned on his side, ignoring the IV needle stuck into his wrist, and glanced at the space next to the bed. Images flashed through his mind, of blue eyes, of soft lips, and most of all, of a beautiful deep voice that rumbled in the owner's throat in a low moan.

Ryoma bit his lip and flipped back over. What the hell was happening to him? Why couldn't life just leave him alone and understand that he wanted his boring old routine back? Surely it wasn't that hard to comprehend. But…well, whatever was happening, he couldn't say that it was all bad. Now, why was it he felt guilty when thinking that?


End file.
